October 14th, 2007 - By kbx81

sally cloudso another weekend has passed and i’m as frustrated as ever. if you know me, you already know why. if you don’t know me, don’t freaking worry about it. i don’t like going out by myself but if i want things to move along it looks like i’m going to have to. i’m thankful to those who have already helped me in various ways (you know who you are) but i need more. the way i see it, i need to take more, bigger risks…i just hope those risks don’t cost me too much in the long run. if things work out right, it’ll probably be worth it i guess.

by now most of you know that my vacation was good although hanging with the parental units all week was less than thrilling. i saw emily (brennan’s ex) and we went out for pizza and ice cream which broke up the week and was actually pretty great. the pools and water slides around the hotel were fun, we did some shopping, but other than that it was quite uneventful. the best part was not having to think about work for pretty much the whole week (even though i did…it’s nice not to be under any pressure for a few days).

this entry’s title is from some track in an Erik K mix that matt gave me (thanks matt!). music-wise i’ve been listening to a very large variety of stuff lately because i’ve been working on programming some serious shit into this killer lighting board i have. *big grin* so far it’s turned out pretty sweet. speaking of lighting, you should check out the awesome sally gobo i had made. i got four of them and put them into my trackspots. now there is a little cloud and lightning bolt flying around when i fire that stuff up. as joey put it, it’s “freaking hot,” and i totally agree. i’m pretty sure everyone else that has seen it so far agrees as well. they turned out better than i expected, really. anyway, you get the idea. i’ll post more pics on my flickr site when i get a chance, and if you come to their next show (i think) you’ll be able to see it in real life.

i think people have started to think that i’m becoming a “club kid.” i guess, in a sense, i sort of am. the catch is, i only want to go because i feel like it’s the only real chance i have at meeting someone. sitting around at someone’s house with friends or going to a movie or restaurant is great, but i’m never going to meet anyone new there. i don’t really see clubs as my scene, but there are random people there. people generally annoy me, but i only when i have to interact with them. at a club, i can just watch everyone, and frankly, that’s fun for me. not to mention that i like loud, blasting music and crazy lights. from time to time i’ve thought about opening my own club (god knows i have the lighting equipment to do it) but i don’t really have the time, money, or energy to invest in it. anyway, that’s what’s up with that. i guess, oveall, i’d prefer to meet someone via the internet (myspace, facebook, whatever) but i really doubt that’ll happen since the only people out there that seem to have any interest in me at all are my real-life friends. (one day i got bored and went and friended like fifty people and i could count on one hand those that accepted.) i realize it’s totally stupid to worry about shit like that, but it still bothers me.

anyway, right now, i’m thinking about two things that are really depressing me: one, that i’m going to have to go spend a lot of time at work tomorrow (well, technically today) setting up classrooms and two, well…by now you know what number two is. i look forward to the day when i can come home from work to more than just a pile of metal, plastic, glass, and silicon.

-kbx

2 Responses to “i need you now”

  1. club kbx! that would bring some serious party. i’m gonna give you a call today.

  2. the gobo looks frickin’ sweet.
    don’t get yourself down, i agree with that kid above me, club kbx would be off the hook!

    oh i will be at that sally show, because just three days before i will have turned 21. that means i can get in. hehe!

    and just one more thing.
    friday at the big gala down here at isu, all our lights were not controlled by our lightboard. they were controlled with the wholehog iii, that we rented. and we had to raise it to the top of the booth, and we used a genie to get it up, basically it took four guys to move it and it was ridiculous, so when they finally got it up, my boss was like “nice work assclowns”
    i was amused. i figured you might smirk at this. 🙂

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